I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
