You're my little dorito
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
