I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
