He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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