ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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