look no pants
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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