I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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