We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
