Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
