The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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