I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
