we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
