trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
