actually, I'm a sock model
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
