I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Someone came in the potted fern
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
