True but thats because hes a fetus.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
