We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
