theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
