why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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