next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
