jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
