brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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