how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
