In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
