garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
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