That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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