I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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