you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
