I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
