and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
