just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
