we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
