Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
