you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That accounts for only three of the penises
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
