I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
