There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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