First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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