My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
