so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
