Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
