We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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