Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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