Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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