It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
