Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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