No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
