May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
