Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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