they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
