If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
