honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i think i have two assholes
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
