Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
