just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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