Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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