Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
