You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
