i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize