I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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