Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
